Work It: Relationships Take Effort

So, this article is being shared around my facebook feed, and I found it to actually be really good for a change (I typically think the relationship things I see online are completely bogus).

I’m a big believer in cultivating relationships, like one of the best lines of a Justin Bieber (I know, I’m super sorry, especially of recent events, geeze bad timing) song ever:

But the grass ain’t always greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it.

Honestly, never thought something that profound would come from the Biebs, but whatever.  I looooove that line.  It’s just so true.  Anywho.

I’ve been in relationships that went on longer than they should’ve, but as I’ve mentioned previously, I’m stubborn.  I don’t like regrets, and I don’t want to have to wonder if I didn’t do enough to try to make something work.  Sometimes, that’s a terrible thing to do in a relationship, because you need to know when it’s not worth it anymore so you can cut your losses and move on.  But most of the time, being too stubborn to give up on a relationship is a good thing.

The first time Monsieur P and I had a fight, he legitimately thought we were breaking up.  He hadn’t been in a serious relationship before, and he thought that it was over because we were fighting.  Even though it was a serious fight, that realization made me laugh and we took a teary timeout to hug it out.  It’s funny, because looking back, I feel like that was A MOMENT in our relationship.  Almost as much as the big things, moving in together, saying I love you, the proposal.  That teary-hug-in-the-middle-of-the-fight moment said:  we’re in it for the long haul.

That article has some decent ideas for accomplishing the goal, but the underlying idea is really just about this:  don’t get complacent in your relationship.  You wouldn’t stop putting gas in your car just because it runs at the present moment, because it’ll eventually run out of gas.  In the same way, you need to keep re-fueling your relationship.  This goes for any relationship, really, romantic or otherwise.  It’s even applicable to raising children or training your pets.

Encourage and support each other, try every day to compliment your partner, smile, hug, kiss, show affection.  When you get irritated and feel yourself on the verge of combat, step away and focus on the things you love about your partner.  I do this one all the time.  I love Monsieur P (obviously), but sometimes he does some truly silly things because he can be a little scatterbrained.  But I try to flip it, and instead of calling him scatterbrained, I call him DISTRACTED.  Slightly more positive connotation, and it tricks my brain focuses me on how hardworking he is, and how he devotes his attention so completely to whatever he’s working on at the time.  Sure he misplaces his wallet, keys, phones, and remotes all over the house ALL.THE.TIME.  But thinking of it this way in a more positive light makes me smile and shake my head instead of getting annoyed.  It’s just him, and it’s one of the things I love about him.

Relationships take effort, but you reap what you sow.  If you put the effort in, you will be happier.  You will have a relationship that you can be proud of and one that you will want to show off to the world!

I know we got issues baby, true, true, true, but I’d rather work on this with you than to go ahead and start with someone new.

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

What’s your best relationship advice?  Do you have a relationship green thumb?  Anyone else have a secret love for the Biebs?

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2 thoughts on “Work It: Relationships Take Effort

  1. Thanks for reading! I tried to think of something to fit… I was going to say something about watering plants but came up with the gas thing first. Like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days…
    “You let our love fern die! Are you going to let US die?!”

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