Three Years and Counting: Waiting for a Proposal

Just before my third anniversary with Monsieur P, my best friend (MOH PT) got engaged to her boyfriend.  So of course this set me off on an even more intense quest for the ring.  I started looking seriously at rings and prodding Monsieur P every chance I could get.  I was fairly certain that he should be proposing on our third anniversary.

Even prior to the Palm Tree’s engagement, I was pretty obsessed.  We both were pretty obsessed, to be fair.  We emailed daily and rings and weddings were pretty common topics.  Usually she was asking me what kind of rings I liked or what kind of wedding I wanted (with details!), and I was telling her that I didn’t feel right talking about it before we were engaged.  Well, the wedding stuff.  I had zeeeeeeeeero issues talking about rings.  I love me some bling!

I gave it a lot of thought, and I had some rules for what I wanted in a ring:

  • BLING.  At least a carat center stone, round-cut diamond (no, I’m not specific or anything!)
  • BLING.  Diamonds along the band, but not quite an eternity band (for sizing purposes).
  • BLING.  Visually interesting from all angles.  I know this is a weird thing to think about, but I’m weird, so it works.
  • BLING.  I wanted an engagement ring that had a matching wedding band because I planned on wearing them together.
  • BLING.  Sorry, I just wanted to say BLING again.  But I wanted white gold.  I wear mostly silver jewelry daily, and I wanted everything to blend together.  Plus platinum was out of the budget.

MOH PT and I went through TONS of rings, and we had documents with pictures and characteristics and rankings.  It was pretty absurd.  But in the end, she knew what I liked and didn’t like.

I wasn’t shy about sharing those details with Monsieur P, either.  I knew he needed guidance because the poor guy was clueless and doesn’t like to be overwhelmed by starting at ground zero with no idea where to go.  One day I was feeling especially desperate ballsy, and I grabbed a catalog from a jewelry store at the mall, Littman Jewelers.  Then I circled all of the rings that I would be happy with, and told him that I didn’t think he needed to spend 3 months’ salary on the ring, but I told him that if he spent one month’s salary on a ring, that I would say no.  I’m only a little dramatic sometimes, really.  It’s probably a lie, I would say yes if I knew he couldn’t afford more, but I knew he could, and I was very serious about this ring.

Now, before you start thinking I’m a psychotic, materialistic, spoiled brat, etc., I need to say something about me/us as a couple.  I work full-time and part-time, and Monsieur P works full-time and some odd jobs here and there when he feels like making some extra money when he’s bored in his free time (because I’m always working).  We split the cost of everything, all of our expenses.  One time we go out to dinner, I’ll pay, and the next time, he’ll pay.  We don’t really keep track of it, but the point is, we are both fully invested in everything that we do.  When I want new shoes, that comes out of my own account, and when he wants to buy some new Crossfit gear, that comes from his own account.  We support ourselves and each other, but he’s definitely not my sugar daddy.

Since I don’t ask for much, from him or from anyone, I thought I should be able to ask for this one thing that was really important to me, for once.  My mom doesn’t wear an engagement ring, because she’s not a flashy person.  She had one, at one time, and maybe she still does.  But I really wanted a nice ring, that I would have forever, and I plan to wear it forever.  Nothing against couples who do ring “upgrades” later, but I was very adamant that that wasn’t for me.  It was very important to me to have THE ring that I will have forever.  I’m a sentimental cheeseball, I guess.  and a materialistic brat. Sorry I’m not sorry, you guys.

Anyway, I laid the ground rules to Monsieur P – what I liked and didn’t like (circled and crossed-out in the catalog), and what my expectations were for the ring.  I was a little bit of a maniac, but I’ll admit, I don’t really regret it.  I was very serious about getting what I want (I’m usually not good at telling people what I want because I don’t like to be that pushy) because getting the right ring really meant a lot to me.

Did you get a little crazy when you were waiting for a proposal?  Are you comfortable telling people what you want?  Do you think I’m a mega bitch?


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