I’m not the kind of girl who has dreamed of her wedding since she was 5, nor have I ever wanted to be a princess. So when Monsieur P and I first got engaged, we sat down to figure out what kind of wedding we wanted.
As a couple, we’re pretty mellow. We like good food, and good drinks. Neither of us likes to dance, though we’re not averse to going out, because we’re both chatterboxes and we like to socialize. Neither of our families is very big on drinking or partying, either. Because of these personality traits, my plan was that we were in a perfect situation to have a low-budget intimate wedding with a cocktail reception, rather than the more common dinner-and-drinks-and-dancing evening reception.
I thought this was a perfect plan for us, not only because it suits us, but because we’re both pretty cheap when it comes to paying for things that we don’t deem worth spending a lot of money on. We like to travel, and we like to have nice things, so we spend money on those things. But to spend thousands of dollars on a frivolous party? No, thank you.
Monsieur P and I are pretty in sync when it comes to our tastes, and he doesn’t really take an interest in planning anything, really, and was especially standoffish about wedding anything. I expected that I would be planning 90% of the wedding and he’d just show up that day to say the “I do’s.” You may be able to guess where I’m going with this…
So imagine my surprise when I told Monsieur P how I had these perfect wedding ideas for us, and he quickly shot them all to pieces. “We CAN’T have a wedding without dancing, WHAT WOULD PEOPLE DO?!” I was shocked. What would they do?! What do people do when they go out to dinner and there’s no option of dancing? They talk to each other… who was this lunatic I was looking at, pretending to care about dancing at a wedding?! We’ve gone to plenty of weddings together and we don’t dance. We sit at a table and talk to each other and the people around us; we walk around and look at the tables in the reception space; we mingle and chat with people at the bar. I said this to Monsieur P, and he retorted with one of the most surprising things that has ever come out of his mouth: “Well, OF COURSE we’ll dance at OUR wedding. It’s our wedding.” ?!?! I’m so confused…
In the end, even though I don’t really understand how he came to these conclusions, I agreed to nix “the dream” of a cocktail reception and shell out triple the doll hairs for a DJ at a wedding reception for two people who DON’T dance.
Because, hey, weddings are for the guests, right? Well, I’m hoping to strike a balance between choosing things “for the guests” and “for us” in order to best represent us, while having a fun atmosphere for our family and friends.
So somehow my idea for a small, cheap-ish wedding went immediately out the window before it even started, and our budget got tripled (or even quadrupled) in order to accommodate things we don’t even typically care about.
Did you find yourself throwing all of your visions out the window? Do you feel that you are planning a wedding more for your guests than for yourselves? Did your fiance/e shock you with their preferences?