Monsieur P and I are still fairly young, but we both feel a little older in a lot of ways. Our parents were born in the 50s, and so maybe we inherited a little more of the older generations’ values, but we tend more towards the traditional side of things more often than not. We have more traditional perspectives on education, employment, faith, and even parenting (even though we’re not parents yet).
That said, there are some things where we feel it makes sense for us to break tradition. One of those ways is our cohabitation. We’ve been living together for over 4 years, and we bought our house together a year and a half ago (I can’t believe it’s been that long already!). When we feel we can justify breaking tradition because it makes sense for us, we have no problem doing so. Which is why when we first discussed wedding scenarios, I thought a more modern cocktail reception would be perfect for us. And it may have been perfect for Monsieur P and I, but what about for our guests? After all, the wedding may be in celebration of us, but it’s not really FOR us. We’re doing our best to marry (no pun intended) the things that we like to the things that we think our guests will like.
So, here are some fun origins of wedding traditions in an infographic from WeddingMix and Jam + Toast. And let’s talk about what we’re doing, and what we’re skipping, shall we?
The Bridal Bouquet – Skipping. I know, GASP, right?! I love flowers, I do. But we’re getting married at a conservatory and botanical garden. Any bouquet I would carry in there would pale in comparison to what Phipps will have growing, and it would just feel wrong to carry cut flowers in. Like Arya Stark standing at Baelor’s Sept, amirite? No spoilers, but you GOT nerds get me, right? It just wouldn’t be nice to the other flowers to parade their cut friends past them. Good thing I’ll probably pick out some lovely wedding perfume so the scent of flowers won’t be missed when I walk down the aisle!
The Tosses – Skipping. Aside from the fact that I won’t be carrying cut flowers, I’ve never really liked the bouquet toss, so I’ve always said I wouldn’t do it at my wedding. I’ve been to plenty of weddings without the bouquet and garter tosses, and I don’t think anyone ever misses them. I love hearing Beyonce’s Single Ladies, but I don’t need to put pressure on the few single ladies that will be at our wedding to act enthused and catch a bouquet.
The Veil – Skipping. This goes along with my “I’ve never wanted to be a princess,” thing, maybe because I was such a tomboy for most of my life. But having a big poofy veil on my head and/or over my face, just doesn’t seem like me at all. When I first found my dress, I knew I wouldn’t want to cover up the back of it, since it’s one of my favorite parts! So I planned on wearing a flower in my hair, and not wearing a veil at all.
Bridesmaids – Doing. I was a bridesmaid in MOH Big Sis’s wedding 12 years ago (albeit a young one!), and it’s always just been understood that my sisters would be a part of my wedding one day too. Add in my new sister and best friend, somehow I’m ending up with all blonde bridesmaids (kind of, MOH PT switches it up). So as long as they go by hair color and not the chick in the white dress, I guess the evil spirits won’t catch me, eh?
Honeymoon – Doing. After 3 long years of grad school, and 2½ years of on-and-off wedding planning, I think I’ll have earned a nice vacation with my new husband! I’d love to do 30 days hiding away drinking honey wine, but I don’t think that’s quite feasible!
Engagement Ring – Doing, obviously. You all know my dos-and-don’ts list for rings already. That 12th century pope sure would be pleased with our 2+ year engagement!
White Wedding Dress – Doing, obviously. You also know all about my white wedding dress! I understand that some other girls may opt for non-white dresses, but for me, I wouldn’t feel like a bride if I wasn’t wearing a white dress. It’s probably the only time I ever will wear a fancy white dress, so I couldn’t pass up that opportunity!
Most importantly, our goal is to keep our wedding true to us and our tastes, while recognizing and honoring our families and our friends. Our lives constantly blend traditional and contemporary aspects, so it only makes sense that our wedding would do the same.
Were you surprised by any of these wedding origins? Do you consider your wedding to be more traditional or more modern? Which traditions are you skipping?