One of the first things Monsieur P and I did after getting engaged was to start on a preliminary guest list. We knew that in order to choose a venue, create a budget, and basically to do anything else, we would have to at least have a rough estimate of who we would be inviting to this shindig. For a long time, we made very few revisions to our preliminary guest list. We planned to only invite family and close friends to the wedding, so it was pretty easy to put down the list of people who were important to us.
After two years, though, things do change a little bit. We’ve added some family members, between kids being born, friends and family getting married; we’ve lost some family members. So by now, some changes had to be made. Also, now that we are closer to the wedding, we’ve made a few decisions about who and what really matters to us. In the beginning, we had a much more “why rock the boat?” mentality. Now we feel more comfortable putting our collective foot down.
For the past 5-10 years, I haven’t really seen much of Parisian Mom’s family. We have an annual gathering with Parisian Dad’s family, but we haven’t had one with Mom’s family for a long time. Because we don’t really see them, Monsieur P had never met most of them, and I had no desire to invite them to the wedding. Since our parents aren’t contributing towards the wedding, we have no pressure to include obligatory parental invites for any reason. Easy enough, we figured, we’d invite the family we were close to and then our closest friends.
This weekend, I happened to see many members of Parisian Mom’s family, including many cousins that I haven’t seen for 10 years. Suddenly I was second-guessing our entire guest list. I went back over the list and decided I could make some deletions, and talk with Parisian Mom about who should be added from her side of the family. I think in the end, it will only end up being a handful of additional people, but I think we’ll be happy with the changes. It was so nice to see everyone, and I think we will be happier having invited them, even if most of them still probably won’t want to venture into Pittsburgh for the wedding.
I never really thought we’d have much guest list creep, just maybe realizing that we missed a friend, or adding in a new friend closer to the wedding. Since we didn’t have to worry about other people adding on guests, I didn’t think we’d have a problem. I still don’t think we really have a problem of the guest list creep, but I’d rather have added a few more people than to feel guilty further down the line for not inviting someone that we probably should have invited.
Did you have any last-minute guest list revisions? Were you worried about guest list guilt or guest list creep? Did you find yourself changing your mind closer to the wedding?