Tag Archives: relationships

Work It: Relationships Take Effort

So, this article is being shared around my facebook feed, and I found it to actually be really good for a change (I typically think the relationship things I see online are completely bogus).

I’m a big believer in cultivating relationships, like one of the best lines of a Justin Bieber (I know, I’m super sorry, especially of recent events, geeze bad timing) song ever:

But the grass ain’t always greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it.

Honestly, never thought something that profound would come from the Biebs, but whatever.  I looooove that line.  It’s just so true.  Anywho.

I’ve been in relationships that went on longer than they should’ve, but as I’ve mentioned previously, I’m stubborn.  I don’t like regrets, and I don’t want to have to wonder if I didn’t do enough to try to make something work.  Sometimes, that’s a terrible thing to do in a relationship, because you need to know when it’s not worth it anymore so you can cut your losses and move on.  But most of the time, being too stubborn to give up on a relationship is a good thing.

The first time Monsieur P and I had a fight, he legitimately thought we were breaking up.  He hadn’t been in a serious relationship before, and he thought that it was over because we were fighting.  Even though it was a serious fight, that realization made me laugh and we took a teary timeout to hug it out.  It’s funny, because looking back, I feel like that was A MOMENT in our relationship.  Almost as much as the big things, moving in together, saying I love you, the proposal.  That teary-hug-in-the-middle-of-the-fight moment said:  we’re in it for the long haul.

Continue reading Work It: Relationships Take Effort


How We Became a “We”

To continue from my previous post, Monsieur P and I were friends for awhile before we became anything more.  This was due in large part to the fact that I already had a boyfriend, and to a lesser degree, because I considered the mister to be “like the brother I never had.”

Well, time went by, and I broke up with my boyfriend in December 2008.  Seeing (on facebook) that I was on the market again, a couple of our friends, decided to meddle in our lives a little bit.  My friend J really hit it off with Monsieur P’s friend A back in 2007, and so when they saw I was newly-single, they reached out to Monsieur P to tell him the good news!  They made plans to get us in the same place at the same time, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Photo via Amazon / A movie we both loved and owned on dvd… and we both love Ryan Reynolds

It was surprisingly easy to move from being “just friends” to being a “we.”  As a couple, we still did the same things we did as friends – went to sporting events, concerts, hung out with friends, went to movies, and went to dinner.  Except now we also spent every evening together too, cooking dinner and watching tv.

We’re both fairly traditional/old-fashioned about some things, but at the same time, we do a lot of things that go against the grain or tradition.  For example, we were only dating for about 6 weeks when we decided to move in together when both of our leases expired that summer.  The mister lived alone, while I had roommates, and we were both sick of our situations.  We figured we had been friends for long enough that we could stand each other long enough to withstand a lease, so we decided to go for it!  We opted to get a 2-bedroom apartment, just in case things went south, and to give us a little space of our own.  Seriously, an extra bedroom is a great idea if you’re planning on moving in together for the first time.  (I decided not to say cohabiting because this definition just made me giggle too much.  And now I’ve said it anyway.  Oh well.)  No doubt us moving in together so soon raised some eyebrows among family and friends, but it obviously worked out for us, so no harm done.

In addition to moving in together, we also discussed the future – marriage, babies, our financial and job goals, etc., very early on in our relationship.  I’m not sure whether that was because we were so comfortable with each other, having been friends for so long,  or if we both just sensed that it was going somewhere, but I feel like we have been an unusual couple from the beginning.

Despite moving quickly on some things (usually the ones that I had any control over), Monsieur P actually waited 6 months to tell me that he loved me.  That’s right, if you were doing the math, he waited until after we moved into our apartment together, before he said those three important words.  I wasn’t really concerned, because I already knew that he loved me, but it took him a long time to come around to saying it.  Monsieur P hadn’t been in a long-term relationship before, so he never told a girl that he loved her until I came along, and he still knew for 2 years before telling me.

You might find that strange, and I found it a little surprising, because the mister was 26 years old when we started dating.  But that’s one of the special things about him – he takes these things very seriously.  So, you can imagine that proposing would be a big deal to him, right?  Well, you’ll have to wait to find out about that story!

Were you set up by friends?  Did you move in with your significant other when you were dating?  How long did you wait to say “I love you?”  Do you love Ryan Reynolds too?

How We Met: the Friend Zone

Who We Are

Monsieur P and I, one of our first engagement photos / Photo by Tressa McCune Photography

Now that we’ve covered some of the gritty details, and you probably have gotten a sense of who we are, let’s take it back to the beginning.  I’ll start with a story that we like to tell, the silly story of how we met.

When we started dating, I put these lyrics in my AIM profile. Yikes.

For your listening pleasure.  Yes, I’m 27 years old and I like Taylor Swift.  and Miley Cyrus.  What of it?  And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

Monsieur P and I met in the fall of 2007, when we were both out at a club for a night of fun with our respective groups of friends.  We met when we quite literally bumped into each other.  He was walking past our table on his way to get another beer from the bar, and bumped into me from behind.  I thought he was trying to dance with me, so I danced back, and he decided that beer wasn’t so important after all. 😉

Continue reading How We Met: the Friend Zone